you can only reblog this today
Golden rule of thumb for art kids: reblogging Bob Ross will bless you latest work
Idea: Passive-aggressive suburban couple dealing with their necromancer neighbor
"Jenny look at this. The second puppet of malicious intent this week. He's really going off the rails since his wife left him for that witch down the street. It's unbelievably sad I just- oh he's waving, yes, hi Lord Of Darkness And Fear, hi"
"woowww... Look who managed to actually stack his nefarious altar sacrifices in an homeowner's-association-approved manner. It's about fucking time. You know, for someone who practices the dark mechanisms of the reinstated soul, you'd think he'd learn to color code. Unbelievable."
"so then I tell him he can't just leave out the rotting mixture of sluice and enigma where our dog might sneak over and get it! I mean, how much is a rubbermaid bin? 5 bucks? The man can afford a near endless supply of black candles but he can't budget a fucking storage container? On top of that he is ALWAYS smelling like warlock blood, and I just don't want the kids exposed to that stuff or thinking it's okay when they're this young. It's so bad for the developing brain. Although I guess if they want to start the dark arts, I'd rather it be at home - I mean, I was their age when I thought about buying a grimoire. I just don't want them thinking the only necromancer path is represented by this complete hack of a man! His robes are like, polyester. Not even stain resistant. Like, get a tide stain stick if you're gonna walk around like that."
the year is 2023, marie kondo holds j*ff b*zos by the skin on the back of his neck in front of a public gathering
“does this one spark joy?” she shouts at the restless audience, they boo in response
she snaps his spine like .5mm mechanical pencil lead and throws his lifeless corpse to the crowd, they cheer in response
Please tell me this is our timeline
It’s not the dystopian future we wanted, but it’s the one we need… and definitely better than the one we have.
